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Adrenal Fatigue

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Helping Friends and Family Adjust to Your Healing Path

Today, I want to talk about something that often brings people (including myself in the past) quite a bit of pain and disconnection. Often, when we decide to take control of our health, and begin the beautiful journey back to vitality, we think it will be a road covered in rainbows and daisies, and that everything will be perfect once we reach our destination. There is a great deal about regaining one’s vibrancy that DOES bring joy, happiness and contentment, but what is less talked about, (yet, I feel equally important) is that it can also be a shedding of one’s self and one’s old, familiar territories, which can be unsettling and sometimes even painful.

 

As you step into a new life, you are awakened to new possibilities, new ideas, new beliefs and new paradigms that were previously hidden to you. If you’re currently experiencing this unfolding, you’ll know how rewarding, exciting and challenging it can be. Many people talk about feeling like their soul has been rejuvenated after a long, dark winter! Naturally, as humans, when something good or exciting happens to us, we want to reach out and share with our loved ones and bring them along for the ride. In fact, according to research professor and author, Dr. Brene Brown, “Connection is why we’re here. We are hardwired to connect with others, it’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives, and without it there is suffering.” Which explains why we feel so ashamed when the people we’re most excited to share with end up rejecting the shifts that are bringing happiness and health into our lives.

 

Telling friends and family about your health concerns or dietary changes can be intimidating. It’s often a heavy subject and for some reason brings up a lot of pain, shame, blame and judgment. This can make it hard to want to stick to your new habits or, on the flip side, be around those friends and family members who make you feel badly. I don’t know about you, but experiences like this and the emotions surrounding them left me feeling very alone and very confused during a time when I was already feeling unsteady and unsure in my new shoes.

 

Sometimes, we aren’t even that excited, but have newly begun down a path that seems to be working for us and are just willing to stick it out for a bit. Wherever you are on the continuum, the fact remains that not everyone you meet or choose to spend time with will understand your new habits and some may even criticize, judge or find frustration with you. You see, these people have come to love and know you deeply, and just as much as change can be scary for the person IN it, it can be frightening to those on the outside as well. Sometimes our loved ones’ fear losing US, sometimes they fear being judged for their own struggles and sometimes they simply fear the unknown (don’t we all?!). But, it doesn’t have to create shame and blame and we certainly don’t have to make it a fight every time a family dinner rolls around.

 

After having been through my own ups and downs with loved ones, I finally figured out how, and where, my new lifestyle fit into the mix and wanted to share with you guys in case you’re going through something similar. It might not get solved right away and may take some finesse, but eventually you’ll find a new rhythm with your tribe, and maybe even welcome in some new soul family along the way! With change comes challenge, but with challenge comes clarity and strength – you’ve got this.

 

Tips for Helping Family and Friends Adjust to Your New Lifestyle:

1.     Have a chat. Often, we hide things we don’t like in dark corners where they seem scarier than they are. Ever seen a coat rack in the dark and thought it was a burglar? Well, then you get my point. Flip on the lights, and it’s not so scary anymore. What I’m suggesting is a metaphorical “flipping on” of the lights. Like I mentioned above, change can be scary. Bringing out the emotions surrounding it can really help to knock down barriers and build bridges of understanding. Perhaps there is a certain family member or friend who really seems to be irritated or having a hard time. In a gentle and loving way, ask if you two can have a chat and ask them why they seem to be having such a strong reaction to your new habits. While some of the things they have to say might seem hurtful, really dig deep and see if there’s anything you can learn. This isn’t a time for you to defend and argue your right to take care of yourself. In fact, doing so usually just puts even more of a wall between you and them. You know you have every right to care for yourself in a way that feels good. This conversation is more about opening up the doors of communication and making sure that both parties feel heard, loved and connected despite differences.

Now, I’m not saying that this kind of conversation is always easy or that it’s a sure bet to go well. Sometimes the person across from you is really just projecting their own “stuff” on to you and will lash out. But, in my experience, usually that person loves you and wants things to work out just as much as you do. Most people are more flexible than we give them credit for when swords are put away and vulnerability is present. And really, at the end of the day, what do you have to lose??

 

 

2.     Don’t expect others to accommodate your new eating habits or shift entire family functions. In a perfect world, everyone would see how amazing dietary and lifestyle changes can be and we’d all skip happily, and healthily, off into the sunset holding hands….eh, or not. 9 times out of 10, it will take people a looooong time to come around or get curious, and honestly, they may NEVER take interest in your new life. As painful as it can be, it’s really ok. It’s YOUR life and YOU feeling good is what matters. But in the same sentence, it is YOUR life and no one else’s. Therefore, if you have special accomodations that need to be made, it’s your job to ensure that it happens.  Sometimes other’s will be understanding and more than happy to adjust – great – but for those times when it’s not really an option, try these: Make your own food to bring to an event, offer to help prepare and arrange food for get-togethers, speak up with restaurant ideas when no one else seems to be picky, keep snacks handy in your car, purse or diaper bag and last, but not least, don’t be afraid to speak up about sensitivities or allergies.

 

 

3.     Have reluctant or confrontational friends and family over for a home-cooked meal. Sometimes people simply aren’t caught up on or even aware of what different dietary strategies look like. It’s easy to get caught up thinking that everyone follows the same guidelines as you or knows what “Paleo” or “Gluten-Free” means, but that’s usually not the case. Things we don’t understand can be intimidating and intimidation can cause us to withdraw or put up a fight. By inviting loved ones into your world, you give them a taste of what your doing and let them see that it’s really not such a big deal after all if you switch out bread with potatoes and margarine with butter. No doubt, most people will be happy to see that you are, in fact, still eating reguar ol’ food and having a good time.

 

 

4.     When traveling with friends or family, take a little side trip to the grocery store so that you know you’ll have what you need in any event. It can take a tiny bit of planning, but trust me, it’s better than stepping off track so that you don’t make a fuss and end up feeling terrible throughout or after your trip. I’ve definitely done that a time or two and, instead of feeling better, felt disappointed, sick and resentful. The trips I have loved the most are those in which I stay the course and keep my health a priority so that I can fully enjoy the time away. You can even explain this to others on the trip if they begin to wonder. I usually say something along the lines of “trust me, it’s better for all of us if I can regulate my food intake, so that I can be the best travel companion possible,” along with a little laugh and joking tone. While it might sound cheesy, it’s true! I really am able to show up better for everyone around me when my body is well taken care of, and it’s worth a little trip to the store.

 

5.     Last, but not least, sometimes there will be that one friend or family member who just won’t come around. As sad as it can be to come to an impassible road, you may have to prepare yourself for acceptance. It’s ok to feel pain over this and it’s ok to be sad. Let yourself feel the emotions of loss and disconnection and then move forward knowing that it’s you who really needs to be ok with your choices, not them. I get it – that sounds harsh and it doesn’t always feel good right away. But, the more confident and healthy you become, the more this will resonate with you. It’s not out of anger or blame that we have to let these relationships go, but out of love and respect for your body and their journey as well. They may understand someday, and they may not – it’s not up to you. We can hope, and work to communicate, but we can’t force acceptance and unconditional love from someone. This is when having a “soul family,” or people around you who support, understand and, are maybe even on, your journey can do wonders. You ARE a part of something. You ARE important and you ARE loved. Remembering this can take away the sting of losing someone and help you to know that the universe has your back and is waiting on the other side for you to step into your light.

 

I hope sincerely that everyone surrounding you is loving and open to your changes. Your health IS important and worth it. But, if not, it’s also my hope that you can use some of this advice to help you move out of the shame game that is often so destructive to progress and peace. Until next time.

Much love,

Sy 


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10 Tips for Surviving Stress and Fatigue


Hey guys! So, if you’ve been keeping up on the blog or following me on social, you probably know that I consider myself an ex-cortisol junkie and that I struggled deeply through adrenal dysfunction for several years before finding recovery in diet and meditation. If not, feel free to READ HERE to catch up on my journey. Today, it’s my mission and flat out passion to help other women who are stuck in the quicksand of stress, fatigue and all manner of other physical symptoms get their heads above water and get back to living a healthy and vital life. I know for a FACT that if I can do it, anyone can. As cliché as that might sound, just go ask any of my friends or family who watched the fight during my darkest days. They certainly weren’t pretty, and some would have called them downright ugly. But, in the midst of all those awful symptoms, I started slowly employing the tips I’m about to give you and began to see some major shifts in my body and mind that eventually led to my full recovery. Keep in mind that there is not one single approach to recovery that will work for everyone. Each of us is uniquely different in our body chemistry, which is a beautiful thing called bio-individuality, but that also means that what works to heal my body may not work for yours or vice versa. All this means is that getting in tune with your body’s signals will be the best tool you have for finding a long-term approach to health that works for YOU. So, with that in mind, you may not need every single one of these tips in your arsenal, but I would give them all a try and see what feels good to your body. Perhaps a mix of gentle exercise, meditation and cutting the caffeine will do it, or maybe yours is more about regulating your sleep and cutting out food sensitivities. Whenever I am working to do some healing, I try my best to look at it as fun research and take a curious approach which helps to mitigate disappointment if for some reason my body doesn’t respond the way I’d hoped it would. In other words, if you’re feeling like shit right now, stay hopeful  J Ps. These are in no particular order or level of importance.

 

Ten Tips for Surviving Adrenal Dysfunction

 

1.     Get a Handle on Those Emotions Girl Part of dysregulation in our stress system (aka adrenals) is about the level of emotional and mental stress that we feel in our lives. Notice I said feel, because simply put, stress is all a matter perception. Not quite convinced? One of my favorite books on the subject is called “The Myth of Stress,” by Andrew Bernstein. In it, he explains how if we become present with what is ACTUALLY happening in our lives instead of our THOUGHTS about what is happening, we can move forward to a place of calm, reality-driven action. For example, if you were to wake up in the middle of night to a tall, dark object at the end of your bed, you might panic thinking a burglar is trying to harm you. But then, upon waking up a bit more, you remember that you left your suitcase one your ottoman because you were too tired to unpack and your panic might even turn into humor and laughter. The point here is, nothing about the situation changed. In both cases, there was no actual harm present. What did change, however, were your thoughts about the situation and, upon your determining, the scenario changed from one of fear to one of humor. If we choose to utilize this reframing method when experiencing emotional or mental stressors, it will automatically down-regulate our cortisol production and put us into a para-sympathetic state – which folks, is exactly where you want to be.

 

2.     Heal your Gut – We’ve talked about this quite a bit, but eating foods day in and day out that are irritating to your body is extremely stressful and raises cortisol levels in an attempt to soothe inflammation in the gut. The most common food intolerances include gluten, dairy, grains, corn, soy, nuts, eggs, alcohol and sugar but sometimes other things arise while doing some investigative work. I usually recommend that my clients cut them all out for a period of at least 30 days to give the body a chance to heal and then reintroduce them one at a time to see how the body handles that food. But, if you suspect a certain food group bothers you, start slow and just cut that one for now and see how you feel. Personally, I suspected gluten first and it was another few months before I even attempted to look at how my body processed those other items. The idea is to get rid of stress, not add more, so take the time that feels right for you.

 

3.     Eat your fats Far too often, I see clients (*women) who have been on a reduced or low-fat diet for years and years. Sadly, post-World War II dietary advice falsely demonized fats in every form and admonished people to eat highly unstable, processed and industrialized seed oils in place of healthy animal fats. This left our bodies starving for the very nutrients that make up our cell membranes and compromised at least 10 vital processes in our body from hormonal synthesis to the inflammation response. Fats are necessary to stabilize our blood sugar and to keep us satiated after meals, which can both be a problem during adrenal fatigue. I remember days where it felt like there was a bottomless pit in my stomach gnawing and growling until I fed it once again. When I began to add more healthy fats into my diet, I found that my in-between meal time increased, my nervous system felt soothed and I felt able to keep up with the energy demands of constantly high cortisol and stress.

 

4.     Get horizontal No, not like you dirty girl, although that doesn’t hurt either if you have the energy or desire for it. What I really meant though was to work on those sleep cycles and allow for plenty of rest as your body needs it. Even the simple act of lying down for 10-15 minutes can be extremely valuable when your body is craving some rest. If you can, try to head to bed before or around 10 pm. Your level of cortisol begins to rise after midnight, which means that your best sleep is done in the hours prior. If you have a difficult time falling or staying asleep, which is often the case, try eating a small snack before bed, like a bit of coconut oil or some nuts, to keep blood sugar levels steady and melatonin levels nice and high. The hours of 7-9 AM seem to be extra restful for those experiencing adrenal fatigue, so if sleeping in is a possibility, by all means do. No one was ever called a hero for skimping on sleep, although you’d think that was a pre-requisite for the job with how much we glorify it.  

 

5.     Chill Out At the gym that is. If you’re currently facing adrenal dysregulation, there is a good chance that when it comes to your workout, While I totally understand how addicting a good, hard workout can be, if you are trying to reduce stress in your body, competitively CrossFitting 6x a week isn’t going to be the kind of thing that allows your system any time repair. Put this kind of physical stress on top of a sympathetic state of being, and you’ve got yourself a recipe for disaster. You may see things like major fatigue and other nasty symptoms of overtraining such as frequent illness, slow healing times and slow recovery start to pop up. If you’re noticing that, despite putting in extra effort, you’re not getting stronger/faster/ thinner etc. it may be time to take a look at your training and reduce your load.  Keep in mind, (as you start to panic about time off) that, technically, progress and growth only occurs during rest as the body puts itself back together.

 

6.     Get those Nutrients! If I could recommend one supplement to every person on the entire planet, it would be Desiccated Liver from Grass-Fed Cows. Obviously, the real food form is even more superior, but if you’re like me and gag at the very smell, let alone the taste of organ meats, desiccated pills are the next best thing. Liver is the world’s most perfect food in my opinion with perfect combinations of vitamins and minerals. Liver is extremely high in B vitamins, which are calming to the nervous system, as well as vitamins A, D, E and K, Fatty Acids, copper (necessary to adrenal function), zinc, and usable iron. I remember when I was still in the middle stages of my healing feeling like something was still a bit off. I had heard about the benefits of iron being supportive during stressful times and decided to give it a whirl. Almost instantly, I noticed my energy levels were higher, my brain fog felt lifted and my mood was happier and lighter. I still to this day continue to supplement with liver and use it as my whole-foods version of a multi-vitamin. So, in other words, go eat your liver!

 

7.     Give yourself permission to heal Now, please don’t take offense to this. One of the hardest conversations I have with clients begins right here, but it is also the part that finally springs them into healing if they haven’t been seeing success. So listen closely – if you are struggling chronically with a condition, it might be because you aren’t ready to move on. Somewhere in the back of your subconscious mind, this illness/ disease/ condition/symptom is benefiting you in one way or another. I realize that if you’re sick, and have been for a while, this might sound like crazy talk, but stop for a moment and just be open to the possibility. What is it about letting go of your symptoms that is scary? Perhaps they’ve been there so long, you aren’t quite sure what life will look like without them? Or maybe you are the kind of person who has a difficult time saying no and it allows you to finally take some time for yourself? There are a thousand different faces this could take, but I encourage you do sit with the idea for a little bit and see what comes up. And the best part? You probably don’t even have to do much. Often times, recognition is enough to move us forward.

 

8.     Get Rid of the Vices A lot of times, if you ask someone is they experience fatigue or energy dips, that person will say no way. Take a look at their diet, and they are simultaneously hopped up on sugar and caffeine all day. Ask them about their sleep, and they will say they fall to sleep easily. Again, scroll through their food journal, and they have 2-3 drinks every night before passing out after a long day. While it may not seem to be a problem on the outside, if we get rid of all the substances keeping us awake and forcing us to sleep, we finally see how dysregulated we have become. Ask yourself if you can function without that coffee in the morning? Can you resist those sugar cravings in the afternoon? Will you be wide awake without that second glass of wine to calm you down? If so, I’m sorry to be the one to tell you, but the system is broken and in need of repair. While these mind-altering foods can be pleasurable additions infrequently, if you can’t exist comfortably without them, you would do well to cut them out and let your system reboot. How will you ever know what level your body is functioning at if you are constantly blanketing it with cover-up solutions and soldiering on?

9.     Have Some Fun! I know that this can be much harder than it sounds. You might even be thinking, “I would love to have some fun Sy, but I have xyz to finish and the house needs cleaning and I have to get ready to my work trip and the kids need to finish their homework and on and on and on.” Don’t worry, I get it. Life is busy, and you are probably a go-getter on top of that. I know you are hard on yourself and you expect the best out your life. And I am not here to tell you that you are bad for wanting an excellent, extraordinary life. What I am here to tell you, is that part of living a wonderful life includes enjoying it. So many times we get busy but forget why we are doing it and begin to look at life as mundane, hard and exhausting. I personally find that a meditation practice is what allows me to practice being present, so that when my family is on vacation camping and having some drinks around the fire at night, I am right there with them instead of thinking about the emails that are piling up as I’m away or the presentation I have next month that I’m nervous about. Start small and do something everyday that you enjoy. It doesn’t have to be something crazy. Do you love writing? Reading? Cooking? Running? Dancing? Yoga? Sports? Being outdoors? Playing with your dog? What is the thing that when you do it, you feel like a kid again? Do that thing for 5 minutes today and see how the rest of your day unfolds. Science says those endorphins will be extremely healing.

 

10.  Boost your Immune System Last but not least, make sure you are providing your immune system with plenty of energy stores. Immunity and your adrenal glands take a big hit when under chronic stress. Vitamin C is stored in the adrenal glands, but if they are constantly working to pump out stress hormones, these stores can become depleted making it harder for your body to fight infection and free radicals. By taking Vitamin C 2-3 x a day, morning-noon-night, you supply your body with the necessary ingredients to maintain a healthy repair system in the body. 

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How I Recovered from Adrenal Fatigue with Crippling Anxiety



When your body doesn’t work like everyone else’s it can take you to depths of despair that you didn’t quite know existed. I personally believe that this occurs because we feel disconnected from our friends, family, and even ourselves, when all we want most as humans is to feel kinship and love. Most of human interaction is based off of our innate drive to connect with others and create meaningful bonds that will perpetuate humanity. So, when it feels like you can’t do what you literally NEED to do, it can be disheartening at best and utterly depressing at worst.

This is how I describe what it feels like to have Adrenal Fatigue with Anxiety. As much as I’m not entirely sure how to put into words what I experienced during my journey back to health, I’ve been feeling the call lately to begin trying. You may have heard the term Adrenal Fatigue floating around, but just as easily not. It’s become sort of a buzz word in the health and fitness industry that’s often used in a flippant and incorrect manner. In fact, the idea that your adrenal glands are “fatigued” is a misnomer, but to make things easy, I refer to my experiencing as one with Adrenal Fatigue rather than the technical mouthful ‘Severe HPA-Axis dysregulation with Cortisol Resistance’.   

Even now as I’m writing this post, I’m not entirely sure the face it will take. I just remember how hard it was two years ago to think that my life would EVER begin moving in the right direction and how it seemed that every time I took one step forward, I would get pushed back at least five more. Now I feel the need to share in case someone out there is feeling as hopeless as I was because I want you to know that it WILL get better.

Adrenal fatigue w/anxiety feels a lot like drowning – At least I imagine. It feels like you’ve been treading water for hours when someone comes by to tell you it’s only been minutes. It’s exhausting, both literally and figuratively and it’s not a joke. But what I truly believe to be the hardest part is that it’s a silent struggle. There is no cast on your arm or physical ailment that people can see. What you have is broken on the inside and no one, not even you, can see it. It’s not even as tangible as a cold with it’s runny nose and watery, feverish eyes. In America today, we call those with Adrenal Fatigue weak and lazy. Sleep is for losers and eating to take care of your body is self-indulgent, picky and often offensive. Pick yourself up and just. try. harder. Why can’t you just relax and take a chill pill? It’s no wonder then that those who struggle to meet the demands of a perfect life end up compounding the problem with self-defeating thoughts of inadequacy and worthlessness. I remember crying many, many days wondering why my body couldn’t just pull it together. And even now, as I write this feeling healthy and vibrant, there are days when I feel overwhelmed by the amount of work it takes to BE and feel those thoughts dusting themselves off to come out of hiding.

I believe that Adrenal Fatigue can take on many forms and we know, as practitioners, that it can definitely vary in degree. But what a lot of people won’t talk about it, is what it looks like in it’s worst moments. I wish I had kept a journal at that time, but for me personally, it was hard to talk about what was happening in that space without feeling major anxiety about my symptoms which would catapult me further down the rabbit hole. I will mention this caveat: I have had a lifelong struggle with anxiety and sporadic bouts depression. What I experienced was not simply a dysregulation caused by a hectic work schedule or overtraining in the gym. I do have a new relationship with them now, which I found through a mix of diet and meditation, but two years ago, it was a very different story and this is that story.

July of 2014, the straw finally broke the camel’s back and my body began to crumble in on itself. As a side note, I realize that everyone’s story might not look as intense, but often the kind of people who experience Adrenal Fatigue are also those who are considered “high strung/ perfectionist” type-people which colludes nicely with anxiety-type thinking, and therefore, intensity.

I remember standing in line one day at the mall waiting to purchase some clothes and all of a sudden was struck with dizziness, a racing heart and severe nausea. It was so intense that I broke out in a sweat instantly. I was no stranger to panic attacks at this point, but never had they come on so quickly with no warning at all. It was so strange that I didn’t actually stop to consider that it could have been a panic attack. I quickly put my clothes down and rushed out of the store. By the time I reached my car, I felt better but was still feeling apprehensive about what had just happened. There were a few more episodes similar to that, and from that day on I was perpetually dizzy. Not in the sort of way that makes you feel like the room in spinning but more in a way that just keeps you a little bit off balance all the time. As if you are on a boat rocking gently back and forth. It seemed that the more I worried about it, the worse it got. Naturally, when it didn’t subside, I began to worry that it might be something serious like a tumor or brain injury. I started off on my journey in a traditional manner and began to date doctors like the Bachelorette in search of The One who would give me my answers. Twelve specialists later and not one of them could tell me anything other than “it’s all in your head, everything looks fine.” I had tried blood tests, CT scans, balance therapy and neurological tests. I had seen ENT’s, family doctors and chiropractors. None of it helped. I was walking around feeling like I was in a dream, unable to communicate clearly what I was experiencing and beginning to drift farther and farther away from reality. A few months later, under the stress of it all, I began experiencing even more symptoms. I’d always had a hard time falling asleep, but now it would take upwards of an hour to wind down, sometimes laying in bed for several hours. I was tired in my bones but I just couldn’t sleep. It felt as though someone had a conversation playing in my brain at all times of the day that I couldn’t step away from. Regardless of how exhausted my body felt, my brain just wouldn’t give up. Assuming I did get to sleep, mornings were hell. I’ve never been an early riser, but those days made getting up feel nearly impossible. I was waking up several times during the night, sometimes because my body felt insanely starving and others because I was in the middle of a panic attack that would shake me out of sleep. If you’ve ever woken up shaking with a racing mind and heart, you’ll know that falling back to sleep is no easy task and the next morning can feel like your body is made of lead. I usually woke up to pretty nasty nausea and a sore jaw from clenching throughout the night and, a few hours into the day, felt as though I’d pulled an all-nighter in Vegas. At this point, mundane, everyday tasks began to feel overwhelming. I was teaching at the time, and remember crumpling on the floor in sheer panic at the thought of making it into work because two of the children in my class had become very difficult to manage lately. It was days like this where those around me just couldn’t understand why I didn’t just pour myself a cup of coffee and handle it, and I felt utterly alone in my experience. Months of this went on and I found that the best way for me to cope was to push everyone around me further and further away because the idea of socializing or trying to communicate my needs felt like it would kill me. It’s difficult to have stimulating and engaging conversations when you feel like all you want to do is curl up in a ball and sleep away the discomfort. When everyone around you is laughing, having a good time but you’re your body hurts and your brain is tired thoughts of self-despair are easy to give into. Hence, it made sense when my irritability was at an all time high and I snapped at everyone around me. I was wound up and busy trying to hold it together all day every day. Small interruptions in these mental gymnastics caught me off guard and instantly triggered my anger. Also noticeable was an inability to think clearly. It felt as though my memory was failing and I would find myself sitting, thinking of all the things I needed to get done, but unable to decide where to start and essentially frozen. Coupled with achy joints, sensitive skin and a nervous stomach ache, I often felt like I was coming down with the flu. Some days, even loud noises felt intolerable. Blenders? Forget it. Dropping the shampoo bottle in the shower? Total melt down. I had no appetite at this point either and was rapidly losing weight. The nerves and digestive discomforts I felt on a daily basis kept me from wanting to eat and I often felt lightheaded, weak and shaky. Put simply, I was a mess. Not even a hot one. Just a mess. My family worried about me but couldn’t get on my level. My boyfriend at the time was becoming more and more frustrated with me as the days went by but I felt unable to appease him and be the fun-loving, lighthearted girl he had fallen in love with. Our relationship was holding on by a thread and to make matters worse I couldn’t for the life of me muster up the drive to be intimate with him making an already tense situation exponentially worse. Finally, in December of 2014, I decided enough was enough. After essentially ruining our Christmas Day with a giant panic attack, I was fuming. There were only two choices – End it or fix it, and I don’t say that lightly. For reasons I still can’t entirely understand, I decided that my nutrition would be the place to start. It was a very intuitive decision and one that I will be forever grateful for. I knew enough about Nutrition and my body to know that I was experiencing bouts of low-blood sugar and I would need to cut out sugar and processed carbs to fix it. I also broke out my old Paleo books and began devouring the information listed in them. I mean, if diet could reverse things like Type II Diabetes and heart disease, was there any reason it couldn’t help my body too? After reading about the effects Gluten could have on the body, I decided that would go as well. Regardless of what I WANTED my life to look like, my body was telling me to slow down and it was time to listen. I made a deal with myself and decided I wouldn’t worry about the way my body looked as long as it felt good. This meant no restrictions on calories, no dieting for special occasions, no hitting the gym insane high intensity workouts. It also meant that I ate every time I felt hungry, even if it was directly after a meal. It meant that I ate real food and did lots of gentle movement like restorative yoga and walks in the desert with my dogs. Hear me when I say that this wasn’t an easy task at first. Previously I had been CrossFitting 5-6 days a week and fitting in extra accessory work after classes in hopes that if I just worked harder I would finally get stronger and have the body of my dreams. It worked for everyone else, clearly I was just too lazy to get what I wanted so more was always better. But as I began to treat my body kindly, something interesting started to happen. At first I noticed that I could go longer and longer between eating without feeling that gnawing pain in my gut that would stir up anxious feelings. I also noticed that my mornings weren’t quite so terrible. Around the same time in December, I began to see a therapist who specialized in hypnosis and meditation. He recorded several meditations for me to listen to that would help coax my body into relaxing. Let me tell you, at first they seemed like torture. I would find that as my body and mind began to relax during the meditation they would sort of panic and contract inward both physically and mentally. It was as if I was resisting the relaxation at a cellular level afraid that if I let go, even for a moment, the world would fall a part around me. Control freak much? I was determined to stick with it, however, and think today that more than anything, more than all the best, organic, nutrient-dense food in the world, learning to have a new relationship with the way that I viewed the world was what finally spoke to my heart and pulled me out of those soul-sucking trenches. At first it the changes were small. I would notice that for a few seconds I hadn’t thought a single thought. I had actually gotten a moment of peace and it was delicious. As the momentum built, I found myself thinking in new patterns and being able to rationally pull myself out of a melt down. I found too that my thinking was clearer and it seemed as though the foggy haze I had been living in was starting to lift like fog from the ocean. It was so beautiful that I wanted more and began my own guided meditation practice for 15-20 minutes a day using the Headspace app on my phone. During this time in my research, I had finally come up on the term Adrenal Fatigue and started learning all that I could about the condition. It sounded like everything was going through. Cutting out the gluten and switching my diet to all real-foods had unknowingly slashed my internal inflammation in half and as my inflammation decreased, so did my physical response to stress. Hitting the stress response from several different angles quite literally gave my body the rest it was craving. With a little bit of reserve building, it made it easier to continue my new habits and I made it my mission to be as kind and loving as I could to myself and to listen more deeply than I ever had to the signals my body was giving me. Also noteworthy was the fact that my dizziness had subsided significantly and the world around me was slowing down.

While there are probably a million more tiny nuances I could talk about, I think the reason I wanted to write this post today to highlight the fact that in my darkest moments I remember thinking things would never, ever change, yet two years later, here I am healthier and happier than I have ever been in my entire life. These days I find so much joy where once there was only pain. I find inspiration in my daily life and when I think of the things that used to keep me up at night, I can’t help but send my old self a little hug for mucking through the mud to get us here. HPA-Axis dysregulation is real. It doesn’t mean you’re weak and it certainly doesn’t mean that you are broken. These days, I like to think that my dance with Adrenal Fatigue was a lucky invitation that I am grateful I accepted. I could have probably continued to live my life unaware that my patterns with stress were killing me and plugged onward in the belief that “life if hard and then you die.” But something inside me didn’t accept that and I feel stronger for having answered the call. If taking care of my body and mind in a way that allows me to finally show up for myself and those around me in a peaceful, loving and attentive way makes me less then I don’t want to be more. Do I wish some days that I could drift through life a little bit easier? Hell yes. But, I also believe I was put on this earth for a reason and that reason is to to be the support I wished I’d had when I was struggling deeply. It is why I decided to become a Nutritional Therapist and help others who are wading in the mud find their way back to dry land again. I hope sincerely that if you are grappling with anxiety, adrenal fatigue or both that you reach out and ask for help. I am currently working with clients in a 12-week program designed to help recover adrenal health and address the five components of healing necessary to overcome burnout . There is no need to do it alone when so many of us are feeling the familiar weight of the world on our shoulders. It will get better. It will. Stay hopeful.

 

All my love,

Sy

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